Thursday, April 09, 2009

FAB FAB FAB NEWS!!!!

OK - short version - I don't have cancer!!!!

Longer version - so, went to the hospital, Dunc my lovely yummy hubby came with me for support. We got there early - as is often my wish, not much reading material in the waiting area, a golf magazine, 2 French apartment magazines AND a magazine just about parrots!!!!! Well it made me smile!!!

Eventually went in, think the doc and his nurse were concerned to see Dunc there too - I explained he was there cos I had been so freaked out. The Doctor was lovely, asked me to go through the story so far, and explained he was a mouth and throat cancer specialist. After my long story - he lay me back on the chair - a lot like the dentist chair - and really had a good root around. He was pulling my tongue one way and poking down my throat the other side - I'm very surprised I didn't puke, nearly got him!!!!

And he sat me up and said 'well I can tell you right now, there is nothing cancerous down there, you do not have cancer, you will live to see another day' - I nearly burst into tears with relief at that point, but held it in.

He is still not sure what it is but thinks maybe it's just something from the viral infection I had 5 weeks ago that is just going to take a while to clear up, sadly no medication will help it. If it's not better in 4 weeks I have to go back and have the camera down the throat thing.

But... whatever happens now is OK, I do not have the dreaded 'C' word and was able to walk out smiling - burst into tears straight away but happy tears!!!

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

PANIC - I'm only human

OK, so this time tomorrow, hopefully, I should be done at the hospital. I'm quite sure I'll be none the wiser and have to return for tests as the letter from the hospital said this appointment is a consultation appointment only!!!! I know I should not panic, and everything is gonna be fine BUT can' help freaking out too.

I am very thankful for all the friends I have who have sent me texts, facebook messages, cards etc - makes me feel very blessed.

Sooooo... we'll see how it goes tomorrow.

Saturday, April 04, 2009

Not so good news

OK, where do I start - this could be a long one

So, I 've been having throat problems for about a month now, it started with an infection, which the doctors sorted but I went back last week, as she'd suggested, and my throat at the back left was still painful. She had a look down and thought it might be a lesion (???). She took a swab - at which point I nearly puked all over her - to test for any more infections. she told me to come back back in a week, she wanted this sorted. I asked her 'could this be something serious, should I be worried?' at which point her head and shoulders dropped, she had a pitiful look on her face and said 'lets just see what happens next week' - not quite the answer I was looking for, but I know that have to cover their backs.

So I went back this Wednesday, she had another look, and not it wasn't any better. She looked at a form in a folder and said 'well you do tick all the boxes on this form' and then proceeded to put the form on the desk - I stupidly glanced at it to read 'URGENT REFERRAL - HEAD AND THROAT CANCER'. She saw me looking and after I'd said 'OH MY GOD!!' rather shocked she said she didn't want to panic, but knew I would. She really doesn't know what's wrong with my throat but by eliminating cancer they can work down from there. By the end of the day the hospital had already called and I have an appointment next Thursday morning to see the throat and mouth specialist.

So - your doctor says try not to panic, but you've just seen the word - in bold and capitals - CANCER!!!!! I am trying to keep calm, especially round Daisi and Max, but every know and then I walk off and have an ickle weep - I'm quite sure the doc is right and it's just something else, but there's always that doubt in your mind. I do keep trying to think that even if it is the C word, they will have caught it quick and can sort it out - I've even worked out what colour wig I'd want if it came to that!!!!

So there you have it - not great and then 7 days of panic!!!!